March always looks as though it will go on forever. After the short and very full month of February (so many birthdays, our anniversary, holidays) I always face March with some trepidation. It's usually a grey, half-wintery time, and it's the season of Lent – not a time for celebrating.
This year, I hope to make it a month of contemplation, quiet meditation, and a new Lenten practice. Leenie informed me that a newsletter she'd received recommended "giving up" something that you DON'T LIKE. Thinking that over, I decided that there is something I really don't like within myself: Guilt.
So I am giving up guilt for Lent this year. "Can you really do that?" asked my daughter who knows me so well. I had to admit I didn't know. However, two weeks into the season I am doing pretty well with it. Whenever a twinge of my bugaboo begins to sneak past the barricades, I halt it in its tracks with "Hey, get outta here, I gave you up for Lent." I have to say, it feels pretty wonderful!
Of course I have a full month of days ahead to keep my resolve, before Easter morning dawns on April 4th.
I've started back at writing the memoir again, which helps a lot. It is a good place to exercise my willpower about the guilt thing too: writing a memoir requires a lot of soul-searching, and it can be very easy to wallow in regret (for things done and things left undone). "No wallowing!" I yell at myself when it crops up, "you gave that up!" This makes writing about my past a lot easier, I can tell you.
Maybe by the time Easter dawns, I will have a lot more words committed to my opus – and a new freedom of spirit as well.
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This is really funny. I always face Feb with trepidation. All those birthdays, plus it's always one of the busier months at work for me. February is always crazy, and I would look forward to March, except...
For me, March is the month that says, "Get ready, winter is leaving!" March taunts me with all the February anniversaries and birthdays I have missed, the knowledge that I will be horribly overheated soon and surrounded by sun-worshipers, yet again.
On the other hand, March signals spring is coming, and I do love spring. It also signifies a mellower time for me, with lighter work load, longer days, spring cleaning (which I may ACTUALLY HAVE TIME FOR THIS YEAR!!!) and this year, hopefully a time of figuring out where I'm supposed to go, career-wise.
I can picture Daddy off in some part of the house chuckling as he hears you holler out "No wallowing! You gave that up!" Hee.
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